I still don’t have any updates on Elle. I just keep saying the prayer.
Two crazy things happened after I prayed my poem for her. First, a former student contacted me in crisis, after a year and a half of silence. He wants to change, and I hope I helped. He is supposed to be going to his first NA meeting today. I’m waiting for a message about how it went. Sigh. He’s a good soul.
The other thing that happened was that we had an INSANE storm. Trees fell all over this valley, and some went crashing down on cars and houses. Everyone I know is alright, but it was scary. We just got power back, and there were a lot of chainsaws running this morning. It felt elemental, like some strange force breathing down up on us. No lie, I’m getting a little metaphysical up here. Last night felt like a visitation from big spirits.
I don’t know what to poem this afternoon. Lat night’s storm was poemworthy, for sure, but it is a nature poem, and those are hard, and I am tired. But, it’s all I’ve got tonight, so…
I think it’s the conflict that brings the winds of a myopic god upon us, surely it is the yelling rockets that provoke the wrath of spirits. Surely its our greed roaring back to us, our speech hot-angered and shrieking through the trees. This is a storm of our own creation and where we learn how long are the roots, and how to bend in the will and chance, and it is the tempest of our unforgiven and our unconfessed and untrue. Perhaps winds are the screams of the mothers of the lost, their keening hearts shifting the bedrock, maybe it is our own limbs that cause this loud breaking, maybe this earth is rocking in grief, unable to remain silent at our unbounded violence. Or maybe they scorn us, the spirits we ignore, maybe they laugh in great gusts at our vast ineptitude, a great belly laugh at our misbelief and misery, clutching their sides in scorn our expanding distances. Or is this wind a command, to get it together and pray with awe and wonder, for our shelters to stand snug from the storm.
I’m grasping here. I’m tired, and bed’s calling me. Safety Sunday! I hope you are all safe and sound from whatever storm’s happening out there.