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So, you haven’t really lived until you’ve completely lost your shit in Starbucks. Really, you should try it. But I hope you never have to. But if you do, I hope it full of the people who helped me this morning, right after I watched this video:

And then right after that I received a sweet text message from a former student, and it just, well, it made the wave crest right up. Out and about, doing errands and buying birthday presents for HP’s birthday do-over, I realized just how often people ask “How are you?”. It’s a lot. And every random stranger today got the real talk. I am not okay. Not even close.

Strangers had to help me in Starbucks. One of them got me water, several asked if I was okay to drive to my doctor’s appointment, and one was a paramedic (ps-HE WORKED THERE. Not to get political, or anything, but if your job is saving lives you should not have to work TWO JOBS. THAT SHOULD BE YOUR WHOLE AND ONE AND ONLY JOB), and he asked if he could take my blood pressure. What can I say? I am not, currently, okay. but I will be.

I didn’t want to write another grief poem tonight. I wanted to write about anything else.          Like, college football, or leaves, or the fact that I cannot see the stars tonight. The fact is I don’t know what the inspiration is tonight. The fact that random strangers helped me through my caffinated breakdown? Perhaps.

Let’s just see what happens.

Oh, wait, though. She wanted a buffalo poem. throwback someday. What day is this? : https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10202115068331251&set=vb.1024156597&type=2&theater

North American Buffalo

don’t exist. Never was a thing. Just another misnamed creature. Just us, un-naming things again. Looking at the buffalo on the way to school, all dewy in the sunlight, the babies all frolic and four-stepping, their heads not yet too big for their britches, these babies able to chase the dogs, these north american buffalo are really just bison.Let’s call them, these creatures in the morning light buffalo just for the myth.  And how are you should be greeted with belief in the story, and okay is the most bull of all the words these days, and okay should be tempered by the musk of the calves, the galloping and skipping ones, and that smell is the one to be missed. It smells like barn, and like work, and love.  No, there is no buffalo. But the bison are here to greet us all with stalwart and standing, with just standing in a place, standing strong in peace, and the babies jitterbug around with sunlight, they skip around in joy.

God, let me be like the bison now, standing. Just standing.

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okay. I really tried. But I am so, so tired now. I regret ever saying I was tired before. I have never been so tired I lost my s$#% in Starbucks before. I guess everything is learning. Love you, poemies.

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